It's weird how quickly feelings can change. A few poorly-timed words, or a phrase said in haste....
"Well, you're just going to have to find someone else for awhile. I'm just too busy right now..."
That's *not* the thing a lover wants to hear. It's not like he's interchageable--not like he can be replaced by *any* pretty face...
"So, what you're saying is that you don't want to see me any more."
"No. I don't mean that...
There was no sense exploring it any further, really. I knew what he meant. IMO, there *can* be a such a thing as having *too* many lovers....I'm selective....I can wait for someone, when he does not have the time, but I won't be told by someone to find another to fill in.
That's offensive--and shows he does not understand me, my feelings, nor the situation.
Then, someone has to go in order to make room for someone else--who might understand when he's been given a gift...
As if I've never been busy and he's not upset my applecart for the day with his demands.
Affairs are, quite frankly, two way streets.
We had a good run, really. Lots of feelings, and things I'd never done with anyone else--and probably *won't* do with anyone else. We were pretty open with one another, and that doesn't happen too often in life. I'd be very surprised if lightning struck twice.
The next one will be different--but he, too, may teach me things I didn't know about myself. Only different things.
I don't want to let go, but the fact remains that I will not have someone who would suggest something like "find someone else" in my life. That means he never got *it* in the first place--never got that something like *this* didn't just grow on some tree for his benefit.
And I realize that when someone gets things easily all the time, there's no appreciation for gifts. There's no real understanding what *is* a gift. It's all just expected.
Lovers are lovers--sometimes things change and they, or I, must move on. Perhaps it's time to make room in my life for a lover who will appreciate what I give him, who doesn't think it's expected, and who won't make such an offensive suggestion. Someone who's not a hypocrite, who understands it, and gets it.
In the meantime, I'll be fine waiting it out. I always am.
Gary--
"Well, you're just going to have to find someone else for awhile. I'm just too busy right now..."
That's *not* the thing a lover wants to hear. It's not like he's interchageable--not like he can be replaced by *any* pretty face...
"So, what you're saying is that you don't want to see me any more."
"No. I don't mean that...
There was no sense exploring it any further, really. I knew what he meant. IMO, there *can* be a such a thing as having *too* many lovers....I'm selective....I can wait for someone, when he does not have the time, but I won't be told by someone to find another to fill in.
That's offensive--and shows he does not understand me, my feelings, nor the situation.
Then, someone has to go in order to make room for someone else--who might understand when he's been given a gift...
As if I've never been busy and he's not upset my applecart for the day with his demands.
Affairs are, quite frankly, two way streets.
We had a good run, really. Lots of feelings, and things I'd never done with anyone else--and probably *won't* do with anyone else. We were pretty open with one another, and that doesn't happen too often in life. I'd be very surprised if lightning struck twice.
The next one will be different--but he, too, may teach me things I didn't know about myself. Only different things.
I don't want to let go, but the fact remains that I will not have someone who would suggest something like "find someone else" in my life. That means he never got *it* in the first place--never got that something like *this* didn't just grow on some tree for his benefit.
And I realize that when someone gets things easily all the time, there's no appreciation for gifts. There's no real understanding what *is* a gift. It's all just expected.
Lovers are lovers--sometimes things change and they, or I, must move on. Perhaps it's time to make room in my life for a lover who will appreciate what I give him, who doesn't think it's expected, and who won't make such an offensive suggestion. Someone who's not a hypocrite, who understands it, and gets it.
In the meantime, I'll be fine waiting it out. I always am.
Gary--
posted by Gary Vaako at 3:55 PM
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